Of my last two classes, I failed one and I came as close to failing the other as you can without actually doing it. I then took a small break to sort out this mess that I have gotten myself into. I started my latest class last week and instead of starting the class like I usually do by telling myself that I am going to get an A and accept nothing else, I told myself that I am going to take this class one week at a time. I made a goal for myself to get all of my assignments done that week...and I did it! So far I am on track to meeting this weeks goal. All of the stress and anxiety that I have been feeling for the past year regarding school seems to finally be fading into something much more manageable. I think that I may have finally stumbled across my salvation and that maybe I have finally found the key to getting off of this emotional roller coaster that I have been on.
I already know that in order to give myself a chance at conceiving a child, I am first going to have to loose some major weight. I have been looking at the weight issue as the first stepping stone and I have succeeded in nothing. In a similar fashion to how I am now handling school, I am going to break down this stepping stone of mine into much smaller and easier to handle pieces. Instead of looking at loosing 150 pounds, I am going to first try to loose 5 pounds. After I loose that 5 pounds I will set another goal for myself.
This is all trial and error, but I think that I have finally come to terms with that fact that life itself is all trial and error. As we go through life we all make mistakes. We learn from those mistakes and then we make progress. I know that I have many more mistakes ahead of me, but I also know that I will experience many good and wonderful things along the way as well.
Here's to leaving my "down" on my way to an "up"....and let me stay up for a while...