Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Definition of Being Alone

I've only ever had one person in my life that I could honestly tell everything without having to sensor myself or think twice before opening my mouth.  I knew that he wouldn't judge me and that he would listen with a loving heart.  He would help hold me up when I was weak.  I could literally tell him anything, no matter how bad of a person those things may have made me seem and he wouldn't hold it against me.  He would just be there for me and help me work through those challenges and problems I was facing.

Lately I have been struggling with a few things...and I mean really struggling.  I actually found myself calling his name last night; reaching out for that lifeline that I so desperately need...but he wasn't there.  He never will be there again.  It's been over a year and I still miss him more than ever sometimes.  Making it even worse is that I can almost guarantee that if he WERE here...I wouldn't be struggling with these specific issues in the first place.

Being alone just really sucks!

2 comments:

the misfit said...

:( hugs to you.

Christine Dallimore said...

I hate those moments....and I hate it even more that you are experiencing them. I hope you know how much I adore you and look up to you in so many ways. You are my rockstar....