Surprisingly enough, that last post really helped me get a grip. The act of writing everything down solidified everything. It made it more real which helped me accept it and move on. Before that it was just a bunch of emotions running through my head making me feel like I was going crazy.
With that all out of my system, I want to dedicate my next few entries to some people who have really helped me a lot over the past year. We all have our own reasons for putting our blogs out here for everyone to see, but I don't think any of us truly understand the impact that our words can have on the people who read them. There have been many times where I have logged on, feeling so alone, and have found comfort from others who are traveling the same roads as I.
There once was a time when the phrase "we are all mothers" brought me a significant amount of pain. It was a phrase that was said to me a few different times. Each time, it was said in a manor that was meant to bring me comfort but it failed greatly. I was being told that I had been given the opportunity to mother my nieces and nephews and the children of others. The phrase stung because as much as I love my nieces and nephews it just isn't the same thing as having a child of my own.
Through the large heart of a faithful woman (Who's blog happens to be titled "We Are All Mothers") this phrase has started to bring me comfort. Ever since I found her blog Christine's words have brought me a wealth of knowledge and comfort. In some ways you could say that she has become a "mother figure" for me. Through her words she has lifted me up multiple times without even knowing it.
Now, I know that having an opportunity to "mother" me isn't quite what she is looking for in her life. But, the knowledge I have gained from her has made me realize that I can't take for granted those opportunities I have been given to mother the children of others.
The phrase "we are all mothers" still doesn't ease the pain of not having a child of my own; but it stands for something now. It brings to light the other blessings and responsibilities I have been given.
Thank you Christine.
2 comments:
Oh Bee Bee- My eyes are filled with tears for YOU my dear friend have just given me the BEST Christmas present I could ever receive. I started my blog as a way to also sort out all of my feelings struggles of infertility. It's a HARD trial to endure- the hardest thing I have ever had to endure at least but it's so helpful to receive encouragement from wonderful women like you. If it makes you feel better the phrase, "We Are All Mothers" didn't give me much comfort until this last year, when I really understood what it meant! Now it's my goal to further seek out the wisdom of that phrase.
I havn't had much time to read other's blogs lately, I have been sewing dolls like you couldn't believe. I wish I would have known the struggles you are having sooner. My heart goes out to you and I will pray that you will be blessed and receive the answers you need. Oh how I wish I could give you a big hug and make all of your pains go away. It just stinks to watch someone so amazing have to struggle, especially so close to the holidays. How can I help? Please let me know what I can do- He, Hee...I do have a good ear if you ever need to vent! Chances are I have so been there and would understand!!! Until then, Thank You again. I'm truly, truly touched. Your in my thoughts and prayers.....
I always think of you during the song from Forgotten Carols. I know that mothering others is so different than mothering your own little one. I hope that one day you will have what you want so badly. Know we all love you.
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