A memorial to January

January; you brought me many gifts over the past 31 days. You brought me some very exciting hockey games. You brought me a little bit closer to my sister-in-law. You brought me more incite and knowledge. On the other hand you also brought with you a cycle of Provera which made me crabby and emotional. You brought with you the week of torture called AF. And for your final gift to me, you brought me my birthday today. Another birthday that I wish hadn't come just yet. Over all I would say that we had some good times and some bad times. As my gift to you I give you the 6 pounds that I lost during your time with me. May you take them far away so that I never have to see them again. I will always remember you as the month that I finally started to get it together and realize what my life is really about. While we did have our struggles, I will always remember you fondly.

Well it sure isn't fresh!

The other day my husband and I were discussing my upcoming birthday. I will be turning 28 years old. I was kind of down for a number of reasons. I was still quite emotional from this latest round of Provera. In addition, I tend to look at each birthday as another failed attempt at the life that I have always wanted. I don't have any kids yet and all I seem to have to show for this 28 years of life is a whole lot of debt and a job that I don't like. I looked at my husband and said "look at me...I'm just an old fart." He replied with a very straight face "you are a bunch of stale air from the bum?" Not fully understanding what he had said I repeated back to him "a bunch of stale air?" and he said "well it sure isn't fresh!"


It is moments like these that I know I am truly blessed. No matter what the situation, my husband can always help me find the humor in it.

A New Year...A New Woman?

I have done a lot of soul searching and I have formulated one single resolution for this year.  It is something very personal and I hold it in my heart like a fragile egg.  I fear that if I were to say it out loud to anyone other than my husband, I would be tarnishing it. It is the purist wish I have ever made, and I intend on doing everything that I can to achieve it.

In order to obtain this goal, I am going to use my newly found method of taking one week at a time. I have identified each of the steps that I need to complete and then broken those steps down into manageable pieces that can each be handled in single week increments.  This week my goals are as follows:

1. Log everything that I put into my mouth.

2. Exercise for 30 min. at least 3 days this week.

3. Take my medications every day

4. Complete all of my school assignments for this week.

5. Complete 7 pages of the book I am currently working on

6. Create and review our budget for this month.

It may sound weird, but this year has brought something new with it for me.  It smells different...sounds different.  I feel like 2009 holds something very precious within it's grasp, but I have to be ready and willing to accept what it brings...the good and the bad.  I feel myself changing already....who am I going to be when 2009 ends?  Only time will tell.

Not a Blue Christmas, but a Very White One

I made it through Christmas with only one or two pangs of the Blues. For the most part I think that I am doing fairly well. I have gotten a couple of ideas for my New Years Resolutions and if I can stick to them then maybe next Christmas will be brighter.

We have been getting quite a bit of snow lately and it has been so cold that it has been accumulating. Yesterday morning dawned with snow flocked trees and untouched snowy lawns. The perfect setting for sitting by the Christmas tree and opening presents. It was a perfect Christmas day until last night. We were all gathered at my SILs house watching a movie as we digested our dinner, when we started hearing an odd noise. It was rain being pounded against the window. The rain quickly turned to hail and then to snow. We had nearly white out conditions for a couple of hours. We did make it back home but I was sure glad that I wasn't the one driving.

Talk about dreaming of a white Christmas....it turned out to be more of a nightmare. But on the bright side, it sure was pretty again this morning...especially when I got to call in and say that I was snowed in and couldn't get to work. They had to use backhoes to clear the streets out by my house.